Miracles DO Happen (but it helps if you know how to create them)

4 years ago this month I found myself at a very unexpected crossroads. My husband and I had rented a gorgeous apartment in Paris for a month-long artist sabbatical and about 5 weeks before we were scheduled to leave (without any warning whatsoever) he told me he wasn’t coming anymore. He wasn’t coming anymore because he wasn’t sure he wanted to be married anymore. Ummm… Yeah.

In my latest video I share the destructive, unconscious patterns that were preventing me from having my dream life, and the diamond insight I gained that allowed me to go from heartbroken and alone to loved up in this beautiful jungle paradise, with my sexy French beloved, an amazing community of inspiring  friends and a baby girl growing in my womb.

Yes, miracles DO happen.. but it helps if we know how to create them!

Ditch the Script. Find Yourself.

We’ve become a society of “experts.” My journey to becoming an expert began around the age of eight as I attempted to be as perfect as I could be, while making it look like I wasn’t trying to be perfect at all. My parents loved me, my teachers applauded me, and my peers accepted me. Savvy little thing, I was.

By the time I reached my late twenties, I diligently achieved all of the things I thought would bring me happiness. I continually ranked number one nationally at a coveted sales job, lived in a home on the beach with my internet pioneer boyfriend, went on extravagant vacations with beautiful and hilarious friends. It sure looked good, but for some reason, I couldn’t shake a pervasive feeling of blah. In spite of all that I had, it never seemed to be enough.

I wanted to be a woman who strode confidently in the direction of her dreams… but I couldn’t identify anything I had a burning passion to do. Adrenaline pumping activities like surfing, skiing and competing with the boys served as a brief refuge from this pervasive apathy. Chic parties and friendship drama were temporary distractions from a deep seated sadness churning inside of me.

In my limited scope of consciousness, I blamed my man. Obviously he wasn’t doing enough for me… for us. This prompted a stubborn case of “when we’s,” that ruthlessly hijacked me from the present moment. When he sells his company, then we’ll be happy. When we go on our trip around the world, then we’ll be happy. When we get engaged, then we’ll be happy. I mean, hadn’t I achieved all of the other things that are supposed to deliver me across the imaginary finish line into the promised land of fulfillment?

In a word, no. But I didn’t gain this insight until much later. Until after the boy broke my heart; after my friends cut their ties with me; and after I began my quest inward.

And much to my surprise, what felt like the most painful breakdown of my life, gave way to the most pivotal breakthrough I could ever imagine.

It was then that the forces of the universe converged to connect me with a powerful spiritual teacher and I saw the greatest source of my pain was that I’d been unconsciously following a script I didn’t write. I’d soaked up messages from the fabric of reality around me, and internalized them as my own. Clearly I wasn’t nearly as savvy as my eight-year-old self would have you believe.

My narrow script left little room for creative risks, because taking chances might expose me as not being the image of perfection I’d gotten used to portraying. It urged me to find the most successful alpha-male in the room, and basking in his glow I would feel worthy and safe.

Now mind you, I had no idea I was doing any of this. The most devious thing about my script was that it had me believing it didn’t exist at all.

The first rule of the script is that there is no script.

But as I continued to pull back the layers of illusion I’d carefully constructed around me and got really, real with myself, I recognized that I’d created a life based on external validation and in doing so, became a very fearful and competitive woman.

When my teacher urged me to explore my creative side, I was like, “Huh?”

For 32 years, I’d always assumed creativity was a genetic thing and sadly that gene had unceremoniously passed me by.

I soon learned that “blah” feeling I couldn’t shake was merely fear of failure masquerading as apathy.

My script had me believing that unless I was going to be perfect and do it perfectly I may as well not even try. As I gained greater consciousness I discovered that I didn’t have to be perfect to participate, I just needed to be The Beginner.

The Beginner is Teflon armor against fear of failure because The Beginner isn’t supposed to know a damn thing.

With this simple, yet revolutionary insight, I gave myself permission to just be The Beginner and began to write openly about my experiences and emotions. I was amazed that by suspending judgment, my creations flowed freely, and a most unusual thing occurred — I began to reveal myself authentically and vulnerably to myself, which restored a sense of integrity I’d lost somewhere along the way.

And then, it was as if a dam burst open inside of me and suddenly a creative passion I’d never known was a part of me flowed through every pore in my body. I began playing guitar, singing and writing songs. I started painting big canvases full of bright colors, and built an art studio in my home. I began jazz dancing after stopping nearly 20 years prior and began taking improv! This overwhelming desire to create generated such a monumental shift inside of me that my entire vision of self expanded. I became awake, alive and inspired.

The resentment I’d been carrying around for my ex-boyfriend finally evaporated like stubborn condensation on the bathroom mirror, and I realized it wasn’t he who had abandoned me; I had abandoned myself and my dreams a time long ago in a bid to gain approval and acceptance.

Like a seesaw, as my belief in myself went up, I watched my competition go down. I developed a genuine camaraderie with other women who are courageously following their dreams, and a sincere compassion for those still trapped in their own private prisons of perfection. It finally felt like it was enough, because I felt like I was enough.

I wanted to call out from the rooftops to every woman who is struggling in life… struggling to find that thing that sets her heart on fire, “There’s another way!”

And that’s what I know I’m here to do. To share what I’ve learned with women like YOU, who (like me) bought in to the script, and are starting to realize it’s a bunch of BS.

The way to an adventurous, passionate, fulfilling existence is the exact opposite of what most of us have been programmed to believe. Life’s gifts don’t come from being perfect and doing everything perfectly; they show up when we ditch the script and give ourselves a little FREAKING permission to just be The Beginner. (Tweet-Worthy!)

 

To Hold On or Let Go? That is the Question.

To Hold On or Let Go? That is the Question.

Choosing to be on a conscious path of growth means two things for certain. First, life will always be an exciting adventure. Second, things are going to change at a far quicker pace. If things are bound to change, the question becomes, how do we decide when to hold on, and when to let go?

While the term “letting go” sounds easy, like a ship gliding gently away from the dock, the reality, often times, is more like jumping out of an airplane at 30,000 ft unsure if the chute is packed properly.

Letting go of anything—friends, lovers, jobs, emotions, illusions, beliefs— takes great courage because we don’t know what the future has in store. For many of us, this fear of the unknown is so great we come up with all sorts of rationalizations to continue holding on to the sure thing.

But here’s the deal: holding on when something shifts out of alignment is even harder. It’s like trying to hold onto a slippery eel while balancing on one leg in a canoe; it’s metal grinding on metal, it’s riding a bike with no seat (and probably no pants). I could go on…

3 signs that someone or something has shifted out of alignment with you:

1. You’re exhausted. Every last drop of energy and creative force feels sucked from your being.

2. You find yourself battling recurrent illnesses.

3. Your constant reminiscing about the past, and focusing to the future is hijacking you from the present moment.

At first I fearfully held on to what I had, and what I thought I knew, like a tenacious barnacle; I practically had to surgically remove myself from pastime people and relationships. And in the beginning those transitions we not as grace filled as they could’ve been had I understood the gifts that were waiting for me on the other side.

But in time, I saw that letting go showed me the gauge of my courage, the depth of my compassion, and the capacity I have to expand.

As I continued to shift and grow, the more frequently I had to pack my chute and jump. And after jump, after jump, after jump, an unusual thing happened. I started to TRUST myself.

I started to trust the process of letting go. I started to trust that rewards would always be on the other side because, (click to tweet) >>>>>> the very the nature of letting go makes space for new connections and opportunities of a more present time alignment to flood into our lives.

What is your experience with letting go?

*And just when I thought I had letting go DIALED, I created an amusing situation that really tested my belief. Stay tuned for Part II, “What Four Inch Heels Can Do to Your Belief.”

When Truth Knocks, Do you Answer?

Sometimes we are cracked open without warning. Other times an unnerving anticipation builds like the click, click, click of the rollercoaster climbing up the tracks before an inevitable fall. Either way, this isn’t the romanticized, sweet pain of the movies.

This is the siren sounding, bathroom floor sobbing kind of pain that kicks us in the gut.

I’ve found that in instances like these, the only way through is in. Inside myself- underneath of the layers of blame and excuses I’ve piled on top of the truth. And if I can press pause on the “poor me” chatter playing on repeat in my mind long enough to ask myself, “Why did I create this?” immense treasures are hidden in these moments.

Many times we miss these treasures because they don’t resemble our mind’s narrow definition of what a treasure is supposed to look like.

On the heels of a very painful break up, where I was cracked open beyond anything I could imagine, I almost overlooked one of the greatest treasures of my life because it came disguised as a question I had massive resistance to answering.

But that did little to stop the question from badgering me… it woke me up in the middle of the night, and was patiently waiting bright eyed and bushy tailed for me each morning.

In an effort to silence it, I considered leaning on my old tricks and knocking back half a bottle of pinot grigio or buying a new spring wardrobe, but something deep inside told me that wasn’t going to work this time. No, I would have to answer the question…

“When are you going to do something that actually matters to you?”

I’d been successful in the corporate world for years, but let’s be real- corporate success isn’t exactly the stuff that lights the soul on fire.

So I quieted my mind, dipped into into my heart, and admitted to myself that I wanted to write.

And in that moment, I realized that I’d been unconsciously creating drama filled situations, (specifically in my relationships) as a way to distract myself from being confronted by this question.

Answering it meant I’d have to do something about it.

I mean… what if it didn’t work out?

Then, I wouldn’t be able to hold it out in the future as some white washed, distant world fantasy as the thing I could always do someday.

As I gave myself the permission to just Be the Beginner, I saw a surge in my passion and ability to express myself through many different artistic forms. I learned that nothing- especially the deep burning passions that live inside of us- is random. Engaging in what lights us up inside, elevates our vibrational frequency and we become like gigantic magnetics attracting people and circumstances into our lives to aid us in the pursuit of our desires. 

When we approach each situation with the understanding that we personally created it to benefit ourselves, we allow hidden gifts and treasures to mushroom up all over our lives. (if you dig it, tweet it!)

Because our thoughts and feelings are the seeds from which our external lives grow, these questions, recognitions, and revelations possess immeasurable value.

It doesn’t matter if YOUR TRUTH shows up like a flashing neon light or casually breezes by like a whisper on the wind- when it comes knocking, the only thing you need to do is LISTEN!

These treasures live deep inside you and hold the secrets to expanding your vision of self so you can come truly alive!

What is the question in your life that’s begging for an answer?

 

Do Leopards Change Their Spots?

Uh, no. Leopards don’t change their spots but people can and do change. What your story is today does not need to be your story tomorrow. From my own spiritual evolution and assisting others with their personal transformations, I’ve had the opportunity to observe what differentiates people who successfully transform their lives from those who stay stuck.

The following three steps are essential for dynamic growth and personal change.

 

1.  THE SINCERE DESIRE

Every human has four endowments- self-awareness, conscience, independent free will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.  –Stephen R. Covey

You must get honest with yourself and acknowledge that some aspect of your life is no longer working for you. What might work for someone else—your mom, dad, sister, best friend—isn’t necessarily the right way for you. Set an intention that you want to initiate change in your life; this will set your change in motion. Your mind may be unconscious to your deepest desires, but your spirit knows.

Example affirmation: I am initiating change in my life to be in alignment with my spirit’s deepest desires.

 

2. A NEW PERSPECTIVE

You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created the problem. –Albert Einstein

Your beliefs shape your thoughts. Your thoughts shape your actions. Your thoughts + actions shape everything in your world from prosperity, love, friends, adventure, opportunities, creativity, health, and ultimately your meaning, happiness, joy, and contentment. If you are having trouble manifesting these things in your life, the best things you can do is learn from someone who is successfully creating these things. When I first discovered Spirit Nature nearly seven years ago, the teachings seemed a bit crazy because they were so contrary to what I’d been raised to understand was “true” and “normal”. I nearly dismissed this valuable wisdom as spiritual mumbo jumbo, but I fortunately made a literally life saving recognition: “normal” thinking is responsible for the all the pain and destruction on the planet.  Conversely I witnessed my teacher living an expression of gratitude, love, creative passion, vitality and compassion. I wanted what he had, so it seemed to make sense to listen and try and assimilate what he had to say. Thinking about my own transformation, I have so much gratitude that I trusted myself enough to trust the teacher that came into my life to assist me.

A teacher doesn’t need to be perfect or have every single thing you want, but generally speaking, you wouldn’t take financial advice from someone with no money and you wouldn’t take guitar lessons from someone who has never played before.  Get a new perspective from someone who can shine the light down the path you want to walk.

 

3. ACTION

If you do what you’ve always done you’re going to get what you’ve always gotten. –Anthony Robbins

I know taking action can feel scary, but with each new step you take outside of your comfort zone, you recognize you are a bit more capable than you thought you were. It’s like making deposits in the bank of you, and in time you will build up trust in yourself that you are far more than you’ve given yourself credit for. Small shifts add up to big changes over time.

This means consistently engaging in a new action that is in alignment with your values. Walk your talk. You will begin to attract people of matching vibrations and values into your life. Change yourself and watch your life transform into an expression of ordinary magic.

 

What is your biggest obstacle to change?